Announcing My 2014 Tour of America!

Hey friends across America,

I am going out on tour in 2014 and I’m trying to go EVERYWHERE.

That’s right, Fargo. No more tour announcements that leave you out. What’s that, Eugene, Oregon? Yes, you’re on the list too. Why the long face, Long Island? You’re on the list too! (Oh, sorry. You actually have a long face.)

The new show is called THANK GOD FOR JOKES and it’s all new stories about jokes and life and how jokes can get you in trouble in life. I think it’s the funniest show I’ve ever toured with so I can’t wait to come to your town.

Get your tickets today so you can sit closer to stage. I will be choosing 35 people per show in the first 10 rows to make out with me on stage during the show. (I’m kidding. I’m choosing 25 people per show.)

After you pick up tickets, head over to iTunes or Amazon or my store (if you want it signed) to pre-order my new CD or DVD “My Girlfriend’s Boyfriend.” It’s the perfect size for the age-old Christmas tradition where you hang your sock on the fireplace – which is, of course, the ultimate fire hazard.

Anyway, I’ll see you guys out there. I can’t wait. I mean, I can. But I don’t want to.



DATE    CITY                     VENUE

1/15     Traverse City, MI    City Opera House    ORDER TICKETS

1/16     Lansing, MI             Wharton Center        ORDER TICKETS

1/17     Royal Oak, MI         Royal Oak                 ORDER TICKETS

1/18     Louisville, KY          Brown Theatre         ORDER TICKETS

1/23     Salt Lake City         Kingsbury Hall          ORDER TICKETS

1/24     Portland, OR          Newmark Theatre     PRE-SALE 11/19

1/25     Eugene, OR           McDonald Theatre     ON SALE 11/18 at 10 AM

1/26     San Francisco        Palace of Fine Arts    ORDER TICKETS

2/14     Boston                    The Wilbur Theatre    ORDER TICKETS

2/21     Fargo, ND               Fargo Theatre           ORDER TICKETS

2/22     Minneapolis            Pantages Theatre    ORDER TICKETS

2/27     Westbury, NY         NYCB Theatre          ORDER TICKETS

2/28     Philadelphia            Merriam Theatre      ORDER TICKETS

3/1       Foxwoods, CT        Foxwoods Casino      ORDER TICKETS

3/7       Madison, WI            Capitol Theatre        ORDER TICKETS

3/8       Milwaukee, WI         Pabst Theater         ORDER TICKETS

3/9      Grand Rapids, MI     DeVos Hall              COMING SOON!

3/19     Columbus, OH         Capitol Theater       COMING SOON!

3/20     Pittsburgh                Carnegie Music Hall COMING SOON!

3/22     Wilmington, DE       Grand Opera House COMING SOON!

3/28     Atlanta                     Buckhead Theatre    COMING SOON!

3/29     Charlotte, NC          Knight Theater        COMING SOON!

3/30     Charleston, SC       Charleston Music Hall COMING SOON!

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